Written by an anonymous employee at Gutter Gurus Victoria
Six years in the business, I've had many great days installing, fixing and removing gutters in my hometown, Victoria, but by far the greatest day was a day that happened to be my birthday. I remember it so clearly.
I was to work alone that day, but a fairly new co-worker wanted more hours and I insisted that she come with me. We were off on the highway up to Langford to remove an old aluminum gutter system from a character home and replace it with a newer round gutter with leaf guards and extended downspouts. Little did I know I was in for a big surprise.
I was still oblivious to the grand excitement I would have that day as we reached our location and rolled up the driveway. A little old lady with a bonnet and a swagger stick came limping off the porch to greet us. I waved kindly to her as I pulled some tools from the bed of the our truck. My co-worker did most of the talking, and it wasn't long before the old lady was back inside and we were on our ladders working away. The old gutters came down gently like snow, and we made little sound as the wind and the birds were quite relaxing to listen to.
I remember it was at some point in the evening when my co-worker and I met up at the truck for a brief break. At the time I wondered if maybe our break had been going on for too long when the old lady came back out in her bathrobe. Why is she wearing her bathrobe? is all I remember thinking. I must've asked that question half a dozen times till she finally managed to waddle to the truck.
"It's a rather hot day!" She sounded delighted. "Why don't you take off your shirt?" She was looking at me.
Before I could reply, my co-worker giggled and stepped away, as if she knew what was about to happen next. "I'm allergic to black flies," I lied kindly, regretting it posthaste. I don't usually lie.
"Ah, but you must be starved." Her bathrobe fell a little loose, and she winked. "Come inside for some food."
I found myself standing stiff as a statue with a bilious flavor crawling up my throat. I knew exactly what that wink had meant, and gagged. To this day I'm still unsure what my answer to her would have been. An old man with a shotgun kicked the front door open and came outside with a swagger, wearing a trucker's hat. He spat some chew onto the grass by his military boots and demanded, "Step away from my wife, lover boy!" He cocked his weapon and aimed it at me. "Do you speak English? Remue-toi!"
Without delay I leaped away from the man's wife, so far in one leap I nearly tripped, and screamed, "Don't shoot!" If I could go back in time I'd count how many seconds had passed before the old man, my co-worker and the old lady began howling with laughter, slapping their knees. My heart was still beating like drum when my employers, my girlfriend and all my other co-workers came tottering out of the house, laughing just as hard.
I fell to my knees, embracing the wave of relief washing over me, and stuck up my middle finger. It's rather carnal, and I apologize for that, but that joke my friends played on me still causes me to laugh today. And the joke was only the beginning of cake, beers and pizza! It turned out the house owners were related to one of my employers and the whole thing had been planned three months before behind my back.
I'll never forget that day--the best day I've ever had at work. Haha!